In a heartfelt revelation, veteran Nollywood actress Dupe Jayesimi, known for her roles in Yoruba films, has shared her emotional journey of being childless despite her efforts and desires to become a mother. Speaking on a recent episode of Abiola Adebayo’s ‘Talk-to-B’ podcast, Jayesimi openly discussed her struggles with infertility and the emotional toll it has taken on her life.
The actress, who hails from Ibadan, began her story by reflecting on her marriage, which took place on October 22, 1988. “I had already started theatrical work by then,” she recalled. “In our marriage, we had no child for several years, despite conceiving before the wedding ceremony. After the ceremony, I had a miscarriage, which was when our problems started.”
Jayesimi went on to explain that after the miscarriage, she and her husband faced many difficulties, including numerous medical tests and attempts to conceive. However, the tension in their relationship intensified. “We had too many tests, with several attempts to conceive,” she said. “My husband and I had a misunderstanding when he left me for months without checking back when we were already five years into our marriage.”
The tension in the marriage escalated to the point where the couple started living separately, with Jayesimi noting, “He began to use a pillow to demarcate the bed.” Eventually, the situation became unbearable, leading Jayesimi to make the difficult decision to leave the marriage. “I had to pack out when I could no longer bear it,” she shared. “Two weeks after I left the house, another woman moved into the house, pregnant.”
Devastated by the turn of events, Jayesimi resorted to alcohol and emotional distress, crying for years. However, with time, she found the strength to move on. “I had to move on when the problem was becoming unbearable. I summoned the courage to say that I wouldn’t get married again, but my parents rejected the plan, urging me to remarry,” she said.
In her search for a solution, Jayesimi turned to a man referred to as ‘Alhaji,’ who promised to help her conceive. She underwent two rounds of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), but they were unsuccessful. Then, unexpectedly, she became pregnant. “One night, after coming back from a location, I couldn’t urinate. It was too painful, so I called for a nurse who gave me pain relief and advised that I go to the hospital the next day,” she explained.
However, the pregnancy turned out to be an ectopic one, and Jayesimi was devastated when the doctors confirmed the diagnosis. “When I got to the hospital, the doctor said I was pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy. I cried hell,” she recalled. At the time, she was 40 years old. “I was operated on, and since then, I haven’t conceived.”
Following the heartbreaking news, Jayesimi left the man who had promised to help her conceive. “I had to leave the Alhaji because his wife began a war with him,” she said.
Despite the pain, Jayesimi expressed a sense of peace regarding her childlessness. “I have stopped overthinking the issue. I believe that God’s time is the best,” she said with conviction. “There are several men who would lie that when you marry them, you will conceive. It is a lie. They want to sleep with you.”
As Jayesimi spoke with tears in her eyes, she revealed that her desire to have a child has not subsided. “I have taken a lot of steps to conceive,” she admitted. “Those whom I trained their children mock me at the end of the day.”
Despite the challenges, Jayesimi remains optimistic and has found solace in her acting career. “This acting job is just a blessing in disguise. It has helped me sustain the watered ground of mockery,” she said. Her acting work has not only sustained her financially but also provided emotional support in her journey.
Looking ahead, the actress expressed a desire to find a child who could become her companion. “What I want to do now is get a child who will be my company,” she said. “If I had not listened to my mum, I would have adopted a long time ago.”
However, Jayesimi’s relationship with her mother remains a delicate issue. “I am not fighting with my mum, but I want her to stay clear of me because she’s the cause of my childlessness,” she confessed.
